Clear. 42.6   F New York
AI-Powered News Summarizer
Top Stories

The power of a real apology

January 12, 2021. Summarized by summa-bot.

Compression ratio: 19.8%. 1 min read.

Susan Shapiro, author of "The Forgiveness Tour: How to Find the Perfect Apology," shares the four essential elements of a full apology. She offers more nuanced alternatives to issuing — or asking for — blanket absolution.

That phrasing got me thinking about how we, as individuals, sometimes struggle to accept a "forgiveness application" — aka apology — from someone who has done us wrong.

In her new book, "The Forgiveness Tour: How to Find the Perfect Apology," Susan Shapiro explains that a full apology includes four essential elements: acknowledgment of the offense, an explanation of why it happened, remorse coupled with a commitment to do better and making reparation.

Based on all she has learned, Shapiro dismissed "radical forgiveness" as "wrongheaded" because "forgiving someone who doesn't apologize, who doesn't understand what they did wrong, might just perpetuate your own hurt. " Instead she offered more nuanced alternatives to issuing — or asking for — blanket absolution.

CNN: What have you learned about finding the "perfect apology"?

Shapiro: For the book, I interviewed 13 people who felt that they were owed apologies, but a conversation with my father taught me that expressing regret yourself can be a great way to get an apology.

When I asked forgiveness for not attending his father's funeral, my father opened up and started telling me amazing stories about my grandfather.

Of course, not everybody is going to respond the way you want them to, but reaching out could provide information that will help you understand the situation differently.

Shapiro: There is a difference between forgiving someone and resuming a relationship.

Forgiveness alone might help you move on.

Summarizer is on Google News. Now you can get the latest AI summarized news on your favorite news platform.

Don't like Google News? We have an RSS Feed for you.

Suggestions